Journal Again #1

07/05/23

Night again. Sunday.

Repetition

This noon i watch youtube that said “Nothing is more failure than a man who lost himself” which is related to me. Felt like i lost myself for years. Not a cliche, not just a feeling. Well, of course its a feeling, but this literal.

I kept lost bodyweight. I run on a threadmill. So run in a place. Not a friend, not hom not they. Me.

My body is trembling in literal way. I got sick. My nerves is sick. Even my body is resist of what i’m doing.

Try hard to find a solution but nothing feel like the best option for years. Pray hard to god. Kept believing.

Two, three, pleenty of girls, pretty, i passed them away. This sickness got the best of me. Hospital, consultation, meditation.

Been years and years. Now im thinking that this years is the last. I must find a way to get out. Well, this is it i think. See you in the next journal.

All love,

V.